You could’ve knocked me over with a feather. In spite of having spent the past year or two being thoroughly turned off by the “go green” movement, I recently took a survey and discovered that much to my surprise, I’m an environmentalist.

Who knew? I thought I was just cheap.

The survey started by asking me to rate my enthusiasm for “greenness” on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the most passionate and 10 being thoroughly uninterested. While I’ll readily admit I’m quite fond of our planet, I’m also fond of air conditioning, showering daily and individually wrapped cheese slices, all of which I assumed would disqualify me from being green. I gave myself an 8.

As I progressed through the questions, however, I learned I’m far more environmentally conscientious than I realized. I shop at yard sales, have my own garden, use energy-saving light bulbs, drive a fuel-efficient car. I’m clearly just a step or two away from freebasing granola.

Still, the survey confused me. Made me wonder what it was about the green movement that always rankles me so.

I got my answer this past weekend, after watching a number of home-improvement shows that featured one dramatic kitchen or bathroom renovation after another – all of which they claimed to be “green” since they used products made from recycled material.

Except they glossed over the fact that the cabinets they tore out and destroyed were completely functional. Most of what they trashed looked far better than any I’ve ever owned.

So while I’m all for trying to leave the daintiest of carbon footprints, it seems like it would be more green to be content with what we have rather than throwing it away because we simply don’t like how it looks.

Somewhere along the line, the green product manufacturers recognized they could charge more and people would happily pay it. Having something that identified you as being green became a status symbol, so consumers lustily embraced the green giant.

I’m sure many consumers are truly environmentally conscious, but I bet far more bend that way simply because it makes them look good.

If I were going to put a color on hypocrisy, it would be green.

The way I see it, if you truly care about the environment, you find ways to make do with less and to make what you already have work better instead of being so quick to replace it.

I realize now that the reason the results of that quiz left me feeling stunned was because, like all the other sheep who were drawn to the green, my idea of what it takes to be environmentally minded had been influenced and tainted by all these new green products I’d been hearing about. Since I can’t (or don’t) buy them, I felt that meant that I didn’t care.

When in reality, what I don’t care for is having the wrong reason to follow a trend.

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